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  #1 ()
guenseskexy : My ex and I recently split and we have a two year old daughter together. We split 10 months ago and had visitation set for every other weekend for him to have her and whenever he asked me for extra time, I was more than willing to give it to him. We tried working out and it didn't so now we are split again. He asked me if he could have her a few days a week as well as his weekends, which would technically be joint custody. I do not want that at all. He is moving in with his sister and our daughter would have to share a bed with him, she doesn't even have her own room. He works a landscaping job making $12/hour and smokes pot like no tomorrow (which he lost his previous job for failing a drug test). I have my own apartment, drug-free, been with my job for 5 years, and graduated with a Bachelor's last March. He has nothing. Spent a year in prison and just got off felony probation and doesn't have any goals with his life. He is now telling me his family is willing to pay for the best lawyer possible to fight me in court. Of course, I am going to have some concern because I do not want to lose that time with my child and she will be so confused and off schedule. It is only going to hurt her and he doesn't see it that way. I have never kept her from him and he was even jobless for two months and didn't pay a dime in child support. I offered him Thursday-Sunday every other weekend and the weekends that are mine, he can keep her Thursday-Friday night. If we go to court, what are his chances he can win joint custody and what are my chances of getting back child support??

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  #2 ()
Wourryallebra : OK you bring up his drug history...yet you CHOSE to have sex with him and have a baby. If you are going to try character assassination, be prepared for it to be done on you as well.
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  #3 ()
andgeiil : Let him sue. Get yourself a lawyer and fight him. There's no way a competent judge is going to award him more time when he's unable to provide his daughter with basic food & shelter.
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  #4 ()
Reommodeswaks : He will not get joint custody, he will however get visitation. If you have nothing in place for child support and never had a civil hearing, you will most likely not get arrears.
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  #5 ()
uncentre : Get your own lawyer and evidence of his drug use and convictions. The convictions will be public record and easy enough to procure. And let the court know about his marijuana problem. The huge can order a drug test. When he fails, you'll still have sole custody.
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  #6 ()
gorodezpup : Depends on the judge but I would say you have an excellent chance of getting his visitation reduced if you can prove his drug abuse. YOu have been very fair with him. Most courts require that a child has it's own bedroom to stay in when on visitation. In addition, you might be able to get the court to make you ex pay your legal fee's in the matter.
As to the back child support, that will go against him in court too.
I think, from what you have said, that you are doing the right thing. You are putting your daughter first and not using her against him. That will always make a judge angry. Stability in your daughters life should be the first priority of the judge and any decision he makes should be based on that and what is in the childs best interest.
this from a guy whose ex used the kids against him and she lost almost all rights to them. She ended up losing custody and getting 1 weekend a month visitation, 2 weeks in the summer and no right to education, medical, decisions. We had a woman judge too.
Good luck.
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  #7 ()
thurgyFug : Get an attorney, subpoena employment records from the job he lost, and tell him to bring it on.
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  #8 ()
swojeksnik : You need to go to court. Once everything is written down then it saves these types of stupid arguments.

You will win in court, so don't even sweat it. It doesn't matter how good of a lawyer he hires. Your the mother and your the current primary care giver. So that gives you two things up. For a father to get custody is almost impossible.

Also, saying it and doing it are two different things. He says he's going to hire a lawyer. But he's full of talk. If he has an extra $100, is he going to use it to pay a lawyer, or will he use it to buy some pot. If he has a court date, will he go, or will he stay home and get high. He'll get high.

So, here's what you do. Go to the friend of the courts office. Some states have a different name, but every state has a department that's in charge of child support. They can give you the papers to get everything going.

If he really does ask for custody, then you should hire a lawyer. But I don't think he's going to do that, so I think we're just talking child support and visitation, and you can do that with out a lawyer.

If he asks for custody, or if there's any problems, then hire a lawyer. In some states you can get the father to pay for your lawyer. Or you can work out a payment plan with a lawyer. Or you can try legal aid.
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  #9 ()
Buyuielrkd : I've been given a text that says I should appear in court (possibly ex parte notice), but I'm not on the calendar. L.A. County lists the date and time as well as case number...I don't have any other information as to the validity of this...It's from an angry, unstable ex...though I do respect the should I proceed?
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  #10 ()
illushunlariA : Are you trying to ask if that text came from the court, as a lawful order?. I doubt it.
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