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  #11 ()
phsinanchl : Sure. Go ahead and do whatever you want in your little fantasyworld.

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  #12 ()
Hiepzinensake : You say " spending a total of $10. I found out when the bill came"

Even if it were $100, I'd still think the punishment were VERY excessive.

Punish, yes, within reason.

Help him to understand that you consider his using your credit card (and then paying you back) still is, in your mind, a form of "stealing".

Also, try to help him understand the moral wrongs of porn.
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  #13 ()
Annahora : A year is toooo long. Six months at the most!!
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  #14 ()
ZDlxre : Seriously? This is way over the top. Don't get me wrong, I applaud parents who pay attention to these things, but that leads to the question of how lax you were before this happened. Had you thoroughly discussed computer "rules" before you allowed him to go online? Had he agreed to them? If not, you assumed he'd pick them up by osmosis?

The part where this is really insane is the grounding and the no friends. You're going to cut him off completely for a year from all this? How do you think this will impact his social development? Kids his age need friends and interactions!

I'd seriously consider dialing back on some of this. He's responsible for covering the charges (you gave two different numbers), and there should definitely be a withholding of electronics and mobiles for several months. But everything after that is hurting him, not teaching him.
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  #15 ()
Knoprubsop : I don't think you're teaching him anything at all, and I have a feeling that once he moves out he'll just do what he likes since there wont be someone to take anything away or hit him after he's done something.

Do you want your kid to do right because he's afraid of the punishment, or because you've sat down and taught him why the things he's done is wrong and he clearly understand and agrees?

A 13 year old being curious about sex is not something to punish, it's quite normal and making him feel bad about natural urges is entirely unhealthy, this kid just needs the sex talk. As for stealing, make him earn it back through work. Lesson learned and done with.
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  #16 ()
lialpinsamy : If you had any sense you would not allow your 13 year old to have your credit card details in the first place,my teenage children certainly do not have mine and you have obviously been slack in letting him get his hands on them.

Your punishment is borderline cruelty to be honest,you cannot lock a child away for a year without any kind of interaction with others outside of school.

Also why do you not have a filter on your computer to stop the porn and adult content coming through if it bothers you so much? Kids get curious about things and they will go and look,he probably had no idea how much the final bill would be either.

I would have grounded him for a week,made him do chores as a repayment for the money he spent assuming he has no other money to pay you back with and had a decent chat with him about pornography not being suitable viewing at his age.

After that I would have given myself a good talking to for not protecting my card details and for not having a filter on the computer.
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  #17 ()
ViettePen : A year for that? 100 bucks thats like 3.65 a day. The fact he used your cc is bad that for me is a month of no fun. Then during that he will have to do some work to pay it back. Set em down and explain how money works. 100 is a month of cell phone..etc.. In the end I'd ground him for 2 months max. Since he showing remorse i'd give him a month probably.
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  #18 ()
Joseph Qk : u are the biggest douche bag of a parent ive ever seen what asshole grounds there kid for a year if I was him I would smash the entire house and give u a real reason to ground me for that long
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  #19 ()
Daudiodia : Watch during that time hes going to concider killing himself, Dont be to harsh mom. Its just sexually explicit material... Everybody looks at it once in awhile.
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  #20 ()
roritriagma : Well obviously not.

You should have a frank discussion about pornography and sexuality and the correct way for a young man to approach these subjects.

You should also have a different discussion about him using your funds for purchases you didn't authorize.

Clearly what you'll accomplish over the next year is 1) your son's alienation from his peer group during an important time in his personal development 2) him having an unhealthy view of sexuality 3) your son breeding a sense resentment with you that will probably never be undone.

Its time for you to get some perspective about what happened, why it upsets you personally, and how you want to have a relationship with your son.
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